


Where The Roots Have To End Somewhere

by flamingosarepink



Series: Even As a Shadow, Even As a Dream [2]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Infidelity, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23406472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamingosarepink/pseuds/flamingosarepink
Summary: All it leaves Lewis with is a feeling as if somehow, the two of them are present in another time. A time when they loved each other a little more and hated each other a little less.
Relationships: Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg
Series: Even As a Shadow, Even As a Dream [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683724
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	Where The Roots Have To End Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

  * For [singlemalter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/singlemalter/gifts).



> I have written this for the occasion of my good friend Malter’s birthday which is tomorrow. We had actually talked a while back about the idea for a longer, more substantial version of where we thought Nico and Lewis would be in the here and now. The idea for this fic came from that. The title of the fic comes from Scheherazade, by Richard Siken.

When Nico comes over, often unannounced, he never stays. No trace of him ever having been in Lewis’s flat remains the next day. It almost seems as if he was never there at all, and that maybe the part of Lewis long since buried that hoped for the chance of a friendship had dreamed it just to torment the other part of Lewis, the one living his life as if nothing had happened.

All it leaves Lewis with is a feeling as if somehow, the two of them are present in another time. A time when they loved each other a little more and hated each other a little less. Where exactly they stand with each other he isn’t exactly sure, but maybe that doesn’t matter anymore when things seem content to just be as they are, going on unspoken. 

It’s for the best, that much Lewis knows. The two of them are different people than they once were, leading separate lives that shouldn’t involve each other. Their time as they knew it has come and gone. Lewis has learned what it was like to live without Nico, building something entirely his own. Building a life he is happy with, never sparing a thought for what has been lost or could have been. 

_“Why are we doing this?” The curiosity that is plaguing Lewis’s thoughts and has been since Austin last year dares him to ask the question as he watches Nico button up his once crisp dress shirt which had been thrown over the footboard of the bed the night before, leaving the last two undone. For once, the other indulges him. “Does really it matter?” Nico doesn’t turn to look back at Lewis as he walks with a purpose towards the open bedroom door. “I’ll see you sometime.” Nico makes it sound so inevitable, but Lewis isn’t entirely sure._

§

Lewis supposes he should have seen Nico here in his capacity as a commentator, in this environment he once frequented in a different life. Things are vastly different and yet not so. From his place in the controlled pre-race garage chaos he can see where Nico is talking to one of the people he works with, face adorned with that trademark smile Lewis knows all too well. This is one place where given the moment, Lewis’s mind shouldn’t wander. Very briefly, Nico looks towards him although Lewis is the one to look away first. Eyes back on the screen of data before him and ears tuned to the calm voice of his race engineer. 

He hasn’t ever put his career on the line for anything or anyone and he isn’t about to start now, six world titles later. This very strange back and forth they find themselves in is seemingly enough of a stain that Lewis tries to not think of it at all costs. 

They don’t speak of the flowers sent to Lewis’s flat with no note on his birthday or the day after he won the championship. It is simply as if they do not exist.

**Author's Note:**

> _Tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake  
>  and dress them in warm clothes again.  
> How it was late, and no one could sleep, the horses running  
> until they forget that they are horses.  
> It’s not like a tree where the roots have to end somewhere,  
> it’s more like a song on a policeman’s radio,  
> how we rolled up the carpet so we could dance, and the days  
> were bright red, and every time we kissed there was another apple  
> to slice into pieces.  
> Look at the light through the windowpane. That means it’s noon, that means  
> we’re inconsolable.  
> Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.  
> These, our bodies, possessed by light.  
> Tell me we’ll never get used to it._


End file.
